It's so hard to set work boundaries with her
It's so hard to set work boundaries with her
Boundaries are a hot topic right now. It’s a big topic in conversations around relationships, self care, and work. Keeping a boundary is about protecting one’s energy, more importantly, giving myself what I need so I can connect, give, do.
I am better at boundary setting now but have a hard time keeping boundaries with 1 person in particular.
Myself.
Damn, it is challenging to keep my own boundaries, especially with work. I’ll say to myself oh, I’m NOT working late anymore, or I’m going to go to sleep early Sun-Weds to get up and write!
And I consistently forget the time and snooze. LOL at the irony.
Why am I doing this when I know the benefits are great?
I do this because I’m only accountable to myself. There aren’t immediate consequences so I can easily lower that boundary for short-lived gratification of feeling needed, validated or productive. So I work a little later, juggle more than I should, or accept a timeline that’s unrealistic.
It’s also a mentality. I’m American (in case my language didn’t give that away already) and entrenched in my upbringing is work ethic, prove yourself mentality, the American dream, economic mobility, you can be whatever you dream of! Weee, work, success, work. Despite living in Amsterdam where they have no problem putting their pencils down at 5pm, the hustle mentality is still in me. It’s quite stubborn, especially after living in New York City.
Oh and it’s also because I can fucking grind. I am proud of my willpower. I can push myself, go the max, and have mental endurance. I’m a champion over here.
A fucking tired one.
Just because I can max myself out, doesn’t mean I should. Is that even desirable? Optimal for work? Healthy for me? Worth it?
So how can I be stronger with myself and my work boundaries? Maybe it’s not about being stronger, commanding or controlling.
What if I tried making a boundary desirable? Remind myself it’s less of a fence and more of a sandbox that would bring joy.
What if the boundary is: listen to my body & energy.
And my reminder is: my future self will thank me.
What is your relationship with boundaries at work? Does something help you with holding boundaries with yourself?
Journal prompt
What things do you want to start or stop doing at work?
What’s the benefit of that? Make that your boundary.
Thanks for your posts and this post, especially! You had me hook, line and sinker with your subject line because I really thought you were going to say you have a hard time setting boundaries with your manager. Guess I was projecting my own experience, ha! Needless to say, your punchline hit even harder because in addition to having a hard time setting boundaries with my manager (and other people close to me) also have a hard time setting boundaries with HER! After over-doing it Sunday-Thursday with work, I took Friday-Sunday to try a variety of things and listen to intentional messages to help me shake things up and do things differently. I've set an intention for the next 10 weeks, which I wrote as a letter to my future self - thank you FutureMe, if you don't know them already, I highly recommend. And so I very much vibe with your reminder: my future self will thank me. Let's make sure our future selves celebrate together sometime in mid-June! Thanks again, coach xxx