That's not enough, they said. But who are they?
That's not enough, they said. But who are they?
Has anyone felt like they aren’t good enough at work?
Well hello, welcome to the club.
In this club, we fight this monster:
‘Not enough’ is my stubborn monster. It’s got 5 fucking feet deeply rooted in my being and a body full of hot air (aka limiting beliefs, no substance). Yes, I'm the artist.
Although I’m aware of its existence & have my tools to defeat it, new situations happen and trigger that feeling of not enough.
It shows up in all sorts of ways and has throughout my career. For example, I spent years working hard to expand my strategy expertise & diversify beyond advertising. After ten years of experience across advertising, brand consulting and innovation jobs, a manager constantly associated me with my very first advertising job. Friends, I was *constantly* referred to as a strategist from advertising. This was not only annoying af but felt very invalidating.
When I jumped into a new strategy role and was struggling to find my place at this company, I thought I should ask a co-worker for insight, “Do you know what I do or what to come to me for?” Their response, “No, I have no idea.” Oof. This made me feel completely useless at my job, lost and like I was failing. The self-blame intensified when they knew how to work with another person who had a similar background.
Then there’s always the classic 'not enough' examples of actual work being better. Or dare I say, perfect.
Through journaling, therapy, coaching, and books, I realized a few, very important things.
1. When I feel like I am or not doing enough, don’t default to external validation. It only goes so far. It’s temporary. And unreliable. I can’t control others, their thoughts or moods, or the narratives they’re fighting in their own heads. Nee (Dutch word!), I can’t depend on unreliable sources to remind me of my value.
2. To truly feel validated, I must self-validate. Yes, that’s a thing! This requires looking inward to remind myself of my journey & my value and cultivating the practice of trusting myself. To help, I write positive feedback or affirmations on post-its and save performance reviews to ground myself in who I am and the value I bring regardless of the job.
3. Then, if I sense this feeling projected from others often (when I’m in a solid, self-trusting place), then perhaps the company, leaders, or a boss actually don’t see my value. And that's not a me problem, that's a them problem. If that’s what’s happening, then it’s time to peace out. I am not ‘not enough’, it’s just not the right fit. This is hard to do but also so empowering because you're in your worth. Everyone deserves to be at a place that values their work, thinking, passion, and accepts their style.
When work or work culture feels painful, it’s a signal to check in with yourself. Do the internal evaluation. Is it the result of your monster? Or is it a mismatch?
We get better and stronger at fighting our monsters over time. It's ok if it's still hard or a bad habit. Soon there'll be a time you do things like share a monster sketch that's not great but good enough to you. And if you're not in this club, you're a lucky duck. I 'd love to hear what resonated with you and why.
Talk soon,
Coach Miche Miche
Fun updates & ideas!
#1 Updates
I am working with my first 1-on-1 client this year, a few intro calls, and I'm taking a coaching course this wkd Jan 27 - 29! On a roll, whoomp there it is.
#2 Journal prompts
When you experience this not enough feeling, try these prompts:
What exactly is causing this not enough feeling?
How are these things making me feel (it can be a few feelings)?
What have I given myself in the past that helped me reset?
#3 Action
Reflect on this mantra:
I am human, I am always enough, & not every workplace is for me.